A Long Life, Lived Fully: What My Parents Taught Me About Health

My father lived to be 86 years old.  

My mother is 90‑plus.

They were not celebrities. But in our community, they were “heroes in their own house”—steady, loving, dependable, and deeply involved in other people’s lives. In this post, I will focus on Dad’s example of healthful living (Don’t worry; Mom is up next!). 

When I picture my dad, I don’t just see him at his day job. I see him at Xavier’s games manning the timekeeper’s clock, at the swimming pools, at summer programs—always moving, serving, and surrounded by people.

It makes me ask a question I want you to consider too: What does it take not just to live a long life, but to live a life that feels full, connected, and meaningful?

Joyful Side Hustles as Health Protection

My dad was a principal in Orleans Parish Public Schools. But that was only part of the story. In the summers and after hours, he:

- Ran swimming programs and summer camps.  

- Served as an official for high school basketball and football.  

- Ran the timekeeper’s clock at games for decades.

These were his side hustles, but they didn’t feel like drudgery. They revolved around what he loved: sports and young people.

Those activities did more than bring in extra money. They:

- Kept him physically active.  

- Surrounded him with friends, colleagues, and kids.  

- Increased his network and sphere of influence

- Gave him a deep sense of purpose and joy.

From a public health perspective, he built a life where joy, movement, purpose, and community were part of everyday. That is not a small thing. It’s part of what protected his health over time.

Weathering: Why Joy and Connection Aren’t Optional

We can’t talk about my parents’ long lives without naming the conditions they lived through. They came of age in a period of segregation, discrimination, and constant unfairness. They knew what it meant to be treated as less than fully human and to navigate limited opportunities.

There’s a term for what that does to a body over time: weathering.

Weathering is the cumulative effect of:

- Discrimination and unfair treatment  

- Chronic stress from trying to survive in an unjust system  

It wears you down from the inside out. It shows up as high blood pressure, heart disease, complications in pregnancy, mental health struggles, and more. It shortens life expectancy—especially for Black communities and other marginalized groups.

That’s why joy and connection are not “extras.” They are survival tools. Dr. Willie James Jennings, Associate Professor of Theology and Black Church Studies at Duke Divinity School identifies joy as an act of resistance against despair and its forces.”

So it makes sense that when I recall My dad’s side hustles, the gatherings my parents hosted and attended, the ways they stayed involved in the community, I remember joy despite what challenges they faced—these were strategies that helped buffer the impact of weathering. These connections and activities didn’t erase racism, but they brought them joy and enabled them to persist. Joy gave him and my mother strength, support, and reasons to keep going–to persist. Here’s how. 

Belonging to Something: Community as a Health Tool

Some of my strongest memories are of gatherings:

- Kappa Sunday brunches, rotating from house to house.  

- Men in one room, silhouettes (the wives) in another, everybody eating, laughing, and catching up.  

- A feeling that this was more than socializing; it was fellowship and recharging for whatever Monday would bring.

Those spaces did at least three things:

1. Reminded people they weren’t alone.  

2. Gave them a chance to be seen and celebrated, not just criticized or overworked.  

3. Created a support network that could show up when times got hard.

Therapists sometimes ask, “What are you a part of?” because belonging matters. You don’t have to belong to a fraternity or sorority. It might be:

- A church or mosque  

- A card game on Fridays  

- A walking group  

- A choir, book club, or volunteer team

Public health research is clear: love, friendship, and community aren’t just nice to have. They:

- Reduce stress and loneliness  

- Improve mental health  

- Can extend life expectancy

Loneliness, on the other hand, is as harmful to health as smoking. People without strong social ties are more likely to die earlier and suffer quietly.

So when we talk about living long and living well, we’re really talking about who we have around us.

Your Call to Action: One Joyful, Health‑Protective Habit (30 Days)

Let’s bring this down to something you can start right now. For the next 30 days choose one joyful, health‑protective habit that involves connection with family or community. Some ideas include:

- Start or join a walking group with friends, neighbors, or church members.  

- Join a church ministry, choir, or service team that meets regularly.  

- Host or join a weekly card game, dominoes night, or potluck.  

- Volunteer with a youth program, pool, camp, or rec league, in the spirit of my dad’s side hustles.

Commit to it for 30 days and notice:

- How your stress changes  

- How your mood shifts  

- How your sense of belonging deepens  

Quality of life and life expectancy are not just about what we do as individuals; they’re shaped by the communities we build and the policies we’re willing to fight for.

Joy and civic engagement together are how we honor the legacies of those who stayed the course—and how we create a future where more of us can live long and live well.